ROOSTER CHRISTMAS SHOW

We are broadcasting the Red Rooster from Cork Airport this Friday morning, it’s a Christmas radio session special with loads of good things on, were up there to welcome people home to Cork.

On the show …..

FRANK & WALTERS LIVE,

TOMMY TIERNAN IS ON WITH US,

WIN BUCKETS LOADS OF PRIZES FROM HARVEY NORMAN THE SHOW SPONSORS,

THE RED ROOSTER NATIVITY SKETCH,

OUR COMEDY CHRISTMAS SONGS,

MATT MOLLYS CHRISTMAS CALL TO BOSTON,

KIDS IN THE CAR SPECIAL WITH CLOE,

SEND ME MATE PACKING GRAND FINAL DAY,

CLASSIC !

NEW U2 VIDEO , WINDOW IN THE SKIES.

THIS MORNING ON THE ROOSTER ... THE BOYS !

THE " CUNNINGHAM" PORTAL

Bank of America Sing One by U2, so this major credit card company merged with another and at the announcement this fool sings his version of one !

THIS WEEKS PICK OF THE WEEK

PAT SHORTT ON THE RED ROOSTER !

This Morning we had Pat shortt on the show,
Check him out on the best of the Rooster Sat morning 10 - 12 am.

Pass a day or two ... copy link below

http://www.107.peugeot.co.uk/peugeot.swf

SOMETHING FOR THE WEEKEND - REDFMS GREG N SHANE, THIS IS THEIR BIG TUNE ! !

FRIDAYS ROOSTER .....

Win a A500 Digital Camera from Fugi,

Jason Byrne is Live on the show after 9am,

Podge and Rodge are back on air with us.

We prank call a hotel to book the Harvey Norman Xmas Party @ 8.15

"Im a celebrity" the funniest clips from OZ,

Win tickets for PJ Gallagher at the Everyman in Cork Sunday 3rd Dec.

Showbiz Bits, the Tom cruise Photo revealed !

Rooster funny bits @ 7.30

Win family pass for Munster V Connaught.


BEST OF THE ROOSTER SAT MORNINGS AT 10 AM.

WWW.MYSPACE.COM/KCREDFM

LENNY AT ELECTRIC PICNIC .......

WEE MAN !

Wonder what did when the oul " slow set " kicked in at the disco :-)

ROOSTER PICK OF THE WEEK - JUST JACK STARS IN THEIE EYES

Late late langer !

PAT KENNY GETS A STALKER !

A guest we had on the red rooster a few days ago ran onto the set of the late late show and started hurling abuse at Pat Kenny,

This man, Paul Stokes, was on with Lenny & I talking about his invention to cut all road deaths
in Ireland, the late late show would not bring him on for an interview so he invited himself on - as you do !


Click footage above for a laugh !

HAPPY FRIDAY

BEST OF THE ROOSTER THIS WEEK ( sat 25th nov 06)


Dirty oul wan from naked camera, do not miss her call !


Comedy whore Neil Delamare talks about pissy strawberrys and things,


The big 10,000 winner on the word,


X factor slated,


Joe & Shile get busy,


And Lilly Allen live ,

I almost cried when I looked at the picture. Please scroll down and read first.

A friend sent this photo of a horrible highway accident in Germany. The picture may be kind of hard to take for some of you. If you look closely you can see what appear to be some survivors of the accident still in the wreckage. Although the picture is quite graphic, it makes you realize how quickly our loved ones can be taken from us.

My friend stayed on the scene to help and even though he performed mouth-to-mouth on quite a few of them, none apparently survived.

10.000 EURO, WIN IT TOMORROW MORNING

"some people like the-------- and the ----------- of it "

Win 10,000 tomorrow morning, no messing, the cash has to go!

Major clue after 7 am tomorrow !


KC

KRAMER FROM SEINFIELD, THE RACIAL YEARS . THIS IS THE FOOTAGE THAT ROCKED THE U.S. !

Hi Everyone,

I know your head is wrecked from charity fundraiser people pouncing on you from every alley and street , people who jump out from behind wheelie bins and lamp posts with their sometimes forceful “ sing up now “ campaigns.

Most of you I’m sure have some sort of direct debit donation coming out of your accounts, but this is a quick once off for the festive season, so I hope you can help.

At the moment on Red Fm were running a major ad campaign to drive listeners into calling this number 1850 413 413 and to make a donation to barnardos, they do a huge amount of great work and need some help !

But the concentration here is about Cork.

5 euro to 50 grand , your call, your donation.

It’s for Cork Kids. Kids who live in bad conditions, no heat, no hot meals, no proper clothing,

Thanks a million,

KC

Imagine there’s a child living around the corner from you in Cork going hungry or walking to school without proper clothing, living in a house with no heating, or no hot water.

Think about it! It’s a fact!

Corks Red Fm’s help a Cork Child with Barnardos need your help

Please call 1850 413 413 , do it now !

Please give what you can, every single donation will go towards an improved live for a Cork child.

Barnardos supports children whose well-being is under threat, by working with them, their families and communities and by campaigning for the rights of children. Barnardos was established in Ireland in 1962 and is Ireland’s leading independent children’s Charity

No Cork child gets left behind

FRIDAYS ROOSTER SO FAR

How'dy,

Fridays Word Game is worth .......... 5000 euro , thats alot of cash !

Fill blanks on this " some people like that --------- & the --------- of it "

We do it tomorrow at 8.05.

Des bishop is on the show tomorrow, win tickets to see him in action and win his new dvd !

Red Rooster phone Tap, another wicked wind up !

The funny bits at 7.35

Kids in the car after 8.30

Show biz bits at 8.40

Plus loads more of your e-mails texts and calls !

Thnaks to Billy for you blog addition !

U2 STORY FOR YA ....

True story this.

Bono is at a U2 concert in Glasgow when he asks the audience for some
quiet.Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.
holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone.....!

"Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A voice from near the front pierces the silence....!!

"Well, stop f***ing doing it then??.!

FOOTBALL & WOMEN - HA HA

FOOTBALL STORY FROM A MATE ( GUNNERS FAN)


Women - They just don't get football!

True story from an Arsenal season-ticket holder:

His season-ticket last year was an absolute plum seat half way up the

Highbury main stand close to the half-way line. In other words, a TV

camera style view.

Anyway, after the first few games of the season it became apparent that

Despite all the home games being sell-outs, the two seats on his left

Were always empty. This continued until just after Christmas when all of

a sudden a guy and his young son appeared there.

After a few weeks of sitting next to this guy and his son, he decided to

ask if the guy knew why the seats had been empty for half the season.

The response is legendary:

'Yeah don't even go there mate. The wife bought me and my son a season

ticket but decided it would be a nice idea to give us them for

Christmas. I was FUCKING in' raging!'



It's an absolute classic!

URI GELLER ON ROOSTER TOMORROW !

CHECK OUT SPOON BENDER, MR URI GELLER TOMORROW MORNING AFTER 9 ON THE ROOSTER...


iF YOU HAVE A WRIST WATCH THAT'S NOT WORKING MAKE SUE YOU HAVE IT BESIDE YOU WHILE LISTENING TO URI, WE HOPE TO DO THE WATCH EXPERIMENT TOMORROW MORNING AFTER 9 AM.


ALSO WE WILL ALSO ATTEMPT TO MAKE LENNY'S NISSAN MICRA BLOW UP USING ONLY A TEA BAG AND A PACKET OF PRONTO CONDOMS ...FOOKING ACE EH ???


OH YA .... 5000 EURO ON THE WORD TOMORROW TO BE WON.

" ITS ALL ABOUT THE ---------- AND THE - ----------- "

TUNE IN AT 8AM TO WIN THE CASH.

EZ NOW.

NEW U2 GREENDAY VID !

RED ROOSTER " MY FACE" KEEP EM COMING!

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT ON YOUR MOBILE PHONE ????????

YOUR FACE ON THE RED ROOSTERS " MY FACE "

E-MAIL KC@REDFM.IE

PRONTO JOHNNYS !

Let’s face it, using an ordinary condom is a real pain in the butt. First, you have to tear the pack open, often using your teeth. Then you have to take the condom out of the pack – this is a slippery business at the best of times. Next, you have to figure out which is the right side up, before you can unroll it. By the time the condom’s on, the mood is halfway out the window...
Fortunately, those days are over. Introducing PRONTO, the condom for the new millennium. The PRONTO condom can be applied in a few seconds. And it’s a lot more convenient to use, compared to an ordinary condom. You simply crack the pack open and unroll the condom directly onto the penis. Sounds too good to be true? See for yourself, by clicking on the demo:

PRONTO CONDOMS

PRONTO CONDOMS

object width="425" height="350">

THINGS THAT ANNOY THE F*CK OUT OF YOU !

HOWARD MARKS ON THE RED ROOSTER THURSDAY MORNING...






HOWARD MARKS aka Mr Nice explains why selective enforcement promotes disrespect for the law, and how the illegality of the drug not only contravenes human rights, but also prevents a reduction in the admission of greenhouse gases.



Things that annoy people:

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where
my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I
ask where the toilet is?

People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room
for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel
manually.

When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do
this? Who and where are they?

When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser,
I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice
there, did you sunshine?

When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there
must have been something before it.

When people say "life is short". What the hell ?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

when you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?

People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's
really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.




People running on escalators doooo’s my head in – Jon in Cobh

96fm & their fooking fugitave shite .... piss off - 566 Ted the builder

When you hear people burping loudly in restaurants – Aoife

People who leave there fog lights in clear weather – Paul Sullivan

When I dont get my hole ..... Sean

Drunk wemon waiting for taxies .... Paul cotter

Leave me comments with more annoying things and i shall add them!!

Slow drivers – connor

Timmy the clutch burner ???

Crap chipper food –

Mobiles left on in the cinema

People who go into the 5 or less items checkout with a cargo trolley of food.

Stupid ring tones – Kevin

People who make loud noises in the cubical when you’re slashing,

People who eat with their mounts open

Old crazy people who piss on the floor

Martin king the meteorological muppet who reads out requests for his own kids while doing the weather on tv3.

FOOKING FRIDAY YEAH ! ! !

The worlds funniest kid " press play above "


Best of the rooster tomorrow Sat Nov 4th


Frank & Walters in session

Kids in The Car

The Red Rooster Phone Tap

The new james bond ???

Classic Matt Molly Car call !


Were not allowed to say things like this on air any more " Im off to to the pub for a pint a vodka "

Have a rocking weekend !

G'day Rippers !

UPDATE !

Sorry its a shite day for news today but ...............

Remember the theme song for the movie "Jaws" and those ominious notes that put the fear of sharks and the water into so many of us?

TA DUM, TA DUM, TA DUM, TA DUM...

Well, out of the AP comes news that Tommy Johnson, whose tuba "put the shark teeth" into the Jaws theme song died at the age of 71.

Johnson, a veteran studio musician, played on thousands of movie scores over nearly 50 years, including "The Godfather," "Titanic," and the Star Trek series.

"The Word " is coming back to the rooster in the next few weeks, loads a cash to win so stay tuned peeps !

Also The Red Rooster podcast will be up and running really soon, were gonna make it banging & cheeky , tunes we cant play on air and things we cant say !

Worst songs ever ... Voted by you ! !

We asked you to bang in what you regared as the greatest shite ever to be recorded.....

Worst song, Cheeky girls- touch my bum

Alan ere. Cartoons. uh e uh ah ah

From paris to berlin. Eh i'm blue ba ba de a ba die...... You get the drift hah

klf up in cork con and everyone use to go around doin the dance like a load of sharks!

Worst song- madonna's american pie,what a disaster, Francine ere again

Worst song ever is unchained melody from heather

The jcb song. Thats what i call crap. Olly from whitecross.

The birdie song' and 'the frog chorus by Paul McCartney' are the corniest songs ever.Joanne in Bweeng.

Anything from steps definitly the worst band that are still alive

The worst song ever was a cheeky song by cheeky girls!
Yellow poka dot bikini must be the worst. Jackie

Bad songs: Ant n dec lets gt ready 2 rumble. da vengabus by vengaboys. Anything by richie kavanagh...Mobile fone?...Cmon! Grainne, bco

How's things paul here the worst song ever has 2 b star trekkin across the universe...

Timmy mallet. Agh hate it. 4get wot its called. Pat cobh

Yellow poka dot bikini

Paris hilton stars are blind.

A doughnut has an end when its eate

Anything by boyzone

Worse song d barney song banana's in pj's 4m mad mike.

Crazy frog song niamh cork

Footballs coming home is the most annoying song ever

That song. MMMM MMMM. Dont remember who sang it. Thank god. Ha ha. ANTONETTE FROM Rylane.

The worst song ever was the dance song about kentucky friend chicken and mc donald's don't know the name of it its so bad but its about take away's!! Sarah

Anything from simply red the redheaded git looks like something from Fragile rock mark Leahy Cob

Bad songs frm grainne...Again. Cant blieve i 4got d birdie song! n crazy frog axel f song. Grainne bcolig again!

Worst song - Gold by Spandau Ballet! – Andy

My mate and me, two more votes for JBC song

Worst song... Ah it has to be the Hoffs new one. 'Jump in my car' ha ha! I mean COME ON! Dee

The fast food rocker's or any aqua song, Eddie

Worst song robbie williams angels.... The amount of radio play that got nearly drove me over the edge.... Josie

Worst songs ever is 2 little boys by rolf harris and bob d fecking bullder

Da crazy frog song is the worst song ever! After 5 seconds u want 2 break things! Steve

ny songs by Foster and Allen Angela

The worst song ever would have to be 'Chico Time' from Chico in the X-Factor...Caroline

There are so many bad songs !! bob the builder and i'm a big big girl in a big big world .. (don't know the name !) ! And barney ! Jess moloney

I am the 1 and only, Chesney Hawkes. Uugh. Vinc

m 2 sexy right said fred worst ever the boys fermoy

Beyonce and de ja vu. This song really proves she shou

ts instead of sings. She's shite. Dave from clon

Sorry lads to remind yee of this but the worst song ever is "the voice" remenber that tragedy from the eurovision,Kevin

Mr lonley is da wurst song ever, its completly pointles and da skqueaky voice reks my head EOIN

The macarena has to be one of the worst songs ever especially that dance, if u can call it that, such an irritating song. X sarah

Ritchie kavanaghs my girlfriend has a mobile phone has to be the worst shit ever on d radio!

plz play the cork version of lilly allens sng! plz plz! oh the worse song is spirials sexy girl

Worst song ever! aqua: barbie girl

ROOSTER BABIES............

Happy Tuesday,
Some really funny baby pictures sent in by listeners ... keep em coming !

THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC !

Assaulting the 96 FM Fugitive Finbarr Barry Oh Bollocks! The 96FM fugitive is back and up to his old tricks - mainly annoying decent Corkonians and brain washing the simple minded who are running around Cork frantically asking the public if they are the new messiah. Should you have had the misfortune to find yourself in Dublin (as if it wasn't shit enough being there already) you'll be bombarded by the exact same images and branding as 98FM churn out the same pre-packaged competition in Dirty Aul Town. Of all people, we at the PROC would be quick off the mark if the Dubs had copied a Cork idea. Nah. The fugitive idea is a concept conceived many moons ago by Australian Radio Station 2Day FM and syndicated to stations like 96FM and 98FM in Dublin. A 'fugitive' is 'let loose' somewhere in Cork and the station gives out hints to his whereabouts. Listeners who ask him if he is the fugitive win a prize. Now, there's nothing wrong with a bit of marketing and promotion. Red FM's bugs competition (they put a mic somewhere around Cork, play sounds from it on air and give a few hints for listeners to work out its location) does not directly impact on the public who do not wish to partake. Red FM listeners are the only participants and besides some street and newspaper advertising that's the only impact on the general public. 96FM on the other hand have a history of interfering with non-listeners: the never-ending cash call competition and Mick Mulcahy's (often highly entertaining) wind-ups are two that come to mind. Our objection to the current Fugitive competition is that it again intends to irritate people who have chosen to not listen to the station - effectively spamming "the good people of Cork" as Niall likes to call us. In their own words: "The 96fm Fugitive could be your next-door neighbour or even your workmate. Maybe he's that shady character who sat next to you on the bus this morning, so ask anyone and everyone "Are you the 96fm Fugitive" Firstly, if you are sad enough to succumb to this clever marketing drive it is dangerous. 96FM themselves acknowledge that station jocks like Prendeville get on people's tits. A recent plug on the station featured vox pop material of Corkonians giving their honest opinion on the host of Cork's Opinion Line. Some comments are less than generous. Therefore, with the apparent consent of the station itself it is safe to assume that a large portion of Corkonians don't like Neil and consequently 96FM. And we're being diplomatic with the "don't like". Why then, are station listeners instructed to "ask anyone and everyone"? Personally, if you ask me if I'm the 96 FM fugitive I will make you suffer unimaginable pain - especially (but not exclusively) if you are male and look like you might be over 18. This man will not appreciate being asked if he is the fugitive Secondly, Cork is a safe city but staying safe means not engaging with wackers, scobes and shams of any description. Can you imagine sitting at the back of the number seven bus wondering if the six foot four feen next to you with LOVE/HATE tattooed on his knuckles, stinking of gat and a large facial scar most likely a result of a traumatic childhood experience is the 96FM Fugitive? He is on the bus home having been told he has to get four letters of refusal from employers before he gets his dole. He's angry. The very last thing you should do is to attempt to communicate with this man but the temptation of a few grand is too big for some. The white angel perched on your right shoulder is shouting "DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THIS HUMAN - HE WILL CAUSE YOU PAIN". Meanwhile the red devil on your shoulder is whispering in your ear "if you don't ask, you can't win!!". Its at your own risk and 96FM aren't going to pay for your orthodontist when things go wrong. Anyone interested in buying them out and forcing them to play Henrys Classics 24 hours a day should contact us immediately to put an end to this torture. Practically Speaking There are a number of options open to you should you be confronted by some gowl asking you if you are the fugitive. At the time of writing they are not legal but will give you an incredible sense of satisfaction as well as doing many of us a huge favour. Lamp: 1. Answer "Yes I am the Fugitive!". Open your wallet and drop some token change into their palm. Then using a recently "decommissioned" AK-47 hidden down your trousers, produce it quickly and point it at the questioner's head liberally discharging high impact rounds until they stop asking people if they are the fugitive. Wait for the law to arrive and claim that Neil made you do it. 2. Deftly grabbing his testicles or appropriate body part quickly attach a tow rope, the other end which you have secured to the tow bar of a 96FM street cruiser. The rest of the details will be outlined by the State Pathologist at your trial. 3. Producing a can of pepper spray, cake their face in it. Drag them to your car (bound and gagged) and transport them to a darkened room in a disused gaf in West Cork. Place headphones on their head and play 96FM "classics" from artists like Brian Kennedy, Coldplay and THe Sawdoctors on repeat at horrendously high volume for two weeks. Release them when you become more widely hunted than the 96FM fugitive.

IRISH YOGA !

Legends in their own underpants !

RED FM'S GO DEEP SHOW

Back again, jesus twice in a day - something wrong !

Red FM's Greg n Shane ( fish go deep ) are on Red Fm every friday night from 9-11

Get the worlds best house music podcast @ www.fishgodeep.com

I have the pleasure of producing their house show every week , their just about to hit the big time with their monster world wide track Cure& the Cause, very proud of em !

See the video before everyone else right here.

www.godeepmusic.com/mixes/fishgodeep.mov

Lazy ass is back blogging !

Ok im really sorry about the lack of updating on the oul blogger, wont happen again boss !


Hope your all well n happy?

Loads happening on the rooster show of late, some great comedy bits flying around and of course were giving away 20 grand to blow in one day on friday morning so that means we play those 3 songs sometime this week.... like maybe a day after Wednesday ... maybe :-)


Wanna make your own video for your pals or just laugh at myself n philip bourke click ...

http://www.dancesisterdance.com/myvid/index.php?v=eb331eba34bf0


Also please hook up with me on www.myspace.com/kcredfm




Cheers Peeps.

World cup cracker !

Apparently Materazzi called him a Muslim Cuunt