f cup cookie ! !

Big Balls !

Tony From Careys Tools ( the kerry tool man working in a tool shop -the irony )
has been a busy little boy. He made some special big balls for us, thanks pet :):)

Your still a langer :)

Broad Band in Kerry .....

Spent Sat night spinning the tuneogs in an great club in Tralee, it's called Fabric, one of the biggest and best designed clubs I have ever played!

So I crashed in a guest house as all the hotels were jammers with xmas work force piss heads who booked in to kip off the partyness. Now it was a pretty nice gaff, 10 rooms, elderly couple running it, all good.

So from my bed I call the repeption to inquire if Broad Band was available as I had the lap top and thought I'd pass an hour shopping for christmas shite.

Me: " hello Misses woman, have you broad band here ??"

Woman : "I'll have a look and send someone to you in 5 mins "

Door: " knock knock "

Woman 2, with confused glare : " here you go "


She handed me a ...... ahem... a broad "elastic " band ??





ah thanks love :):)



Picture posed by model.

OUT TODAY - PLEASE BUY IT !

Hey !


We really really need you help here.

The Best of the Red Rooster CD is out today, all the money is going to Kids charity Barnardos.

WE ARE NOT MAKING A PENNY OUT OF THIS !

Get it all over Cork, all major shops have it

Or please go to www.peoplesrepublicofcork.com and bang in an order.

Thanks as always for your support.

KC

Joe Gamble ..Legend !

This is what you can win this morning!!!!!!!

A Pathetic Plea For Votes !

So some how I got nominated for this Meteor award's thingy, for best regional dj.


This is where I need your help ( and phone credit :) )

If you get a chance to hit me with your votes

PLEASE TEXT

"RDJ2 " ( NO SPACES ) TO

085 7 11 44 44

TEXTS ONLY COST 9 C

You can vote as often as you like.

OR YOU CAN VOTE ON LINE


COPY THIS LINK PLEASE ...........




meteormusicawards.meteor.ie/nominees.aspx

Go to regional dj - vote Keith Cunningham ( KC )


Cheers ya big oul legend !

Jump Around" as gaeilge"

Des Bishop was in with us again last Monday.

Since I started the Red Rooste about 3 years ago Mr Bishop usually calls into us a few times a year to co present the show or just to talk shit for a bit.

He has a great new show that he is test driving in the opera house called ” tongues” the langer can speak Irish, he’s actually really good at it !

This is Des Doing the House of Pain, not exactly Lennys Mum but a good effort .

Well done Feen.

hahahahaha go granny ...classic !

No blonde jokes please ...... This is a classic

Which is more Fu*ked up - the dog, or his hair ?

Strenth & Honour Trailer.

Shot in Cork this year, see if you can spot and langers you know !

NEW GUINNESS AD .. UNREAL !

DEAR VIC BARRY .... YOUR A LANGER :)

On Cork talks back Vic was doing a breast feeding bit on the show, I snuck on air as a dirty oul fella from Dublin who got knocker nosh from his old lady until he was seven years old, windup.com .Hear the call on the show tomorrow ( friday) after 7AM and on the "best of" sat moring 10 -12.

This picture is his revenge !

Nice pair :)

WADIO WATINGS UPDATE !

THE RED ROOSTER IS NOW THE NUMBER ONE BREAKFAST SHOW ON RADIO IN CORK FOR 15-35 YEAR OLDS..... SAVAGE FU*KING CABBAGE !



According to the latest survey, Lenny and I have lovely figures. The hottest man
boobies on breakfast !






Getting up at 4.30am everyday is a bunch of arse, but when you hammer the nationals and start throwing swift leg wobbly punches at 96fm, then sleep is not an issue.

REDFM IS NUMBER ONE 15-35 - 9000 AHEAD OF 96FM, AND WITH 3 NATIONAL RADIO AWARDS THIS YEAR, ... Thats a broken nose in radio boxing.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, for checking out the Red Rooster.......

Superquinn Classic !

READ THE STORY FIRST, THEN LOOK AT THE PIC OF THE CAKE...

Keep in mind that this actually happened!!!! This is someone who was moving from a claims office.

Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:




Superquinn Employee: 'Hello 'dis Superquinn, how can I help you?'

Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'

Superquinn Employee: 'What you want on the cake?'

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

Superquinn Employee: 'Dat all? Okay, Bye.'

Im scared and confused !

I love black music, im huge fan and collector of this particular genre.Jurassic 5 - my favorite hip hop band, Steve Wonder and Al green on the soul tip and of course the greats of black house, moody man, Kerri Chandler ect.

Click while you read nigga's... J5 Genius….



Jurassic 5 - Concrete Schoolyard



Amp Fiddlers show in the opera house over the Jazz weekend was without doubt the best live gig I have ever seen.



What got me really into it?? Night’s like Jam, Jazz Juice, and Shake in Galway. I shared a flat with the legend Stevie G for a few years; slap bang in the middle of Cork City. As I mentioned before, he had so many records (15,000 maybe) he had no room for a bed so he slept on a bench in Bishop lucy park. Stevie put me onto so many amazing artists and albums (Nice Wan Feen )

Over the last five years there was an explosion in new black & Urban artists, music channels, radio shows & concerts. Record companies yet again jump on the fashion wagon and sign everything, that’s why the market has become supersaturated with utter black belly bile shite, which is sad.

When things like this happen ( click vid’s below ) I dunno whether to laugh or load a gun and go searching for them….. Enjoy !



Speak the Hungarian Rapper!




Have you seen my baseball ?

Ever play bull dog in school ??? - Russian Style

The world's biggest dog looks at the world's smallest

Long haired Chihuahua, Boo Boo, is just 10cm (4in) tall. He was given his title for the world's smallest dog by veteran Gibson, a harlequin Great Dane in Washington. He's the world's tallest dog measuring 107cm (3.5ft). Boo Boo's smaller than his head.

The weekend in Galway.

Happy Monday me oul muckers.


So I hit Galway for the weekend, wasting Friday evening down the Spanish arch ( not a Spaniard in sight ) I came across this little beauty on the front page of the Galway First free paper, it reads ….

TWO SAFF INJURED AFTER GALWAY HOTEL BRAWL:

“A well know TV star was involved in a shocking bust up in a top Galway hotel which left two staff members injured.
The popular star who can not be named for legal reasons was hauled away but not before he launched an attack on
Hotel staff “

This “star “accused one of the hotel staff of shagging his partner, he went bertie and started kicking the shit out of people.

“one employee was punched and knocked to the ground where horrifically the star held him in a head lock and began gouging at his eyes “


Pretty mad eh ???

But as you stroke the chin of uncertainly your asking the same questions as me … who was it??

Let's play Drunk Ass Roulette

Suspect may not actually be pictured ( t&c apply )













Or could it be .......

Want one ???

ROOSTER CD ..READY FOR LAUNCH !

So we just finished the Christmas CD “ best of the Red Rooster “ vol 1 – It’s got the most requested comedy bits from the show, a few live moments mixed with
Live sessions from Green on Red, featuring Fish Go Deep, Fred, Simple Kid, Jodivino, Franks. Buy 2 copies, every penny is going to Bernardos Children’s Charities in Cork.

EVERY PENNY IS GOING TO THE KIDS !

Were going to have big launch party,so stayed tuned to the rooster to win tickets.
This party will involve a big name dj type, beer , male strippers for the ladies ect ! ( Dave Grohl from the Foo fighters might be coming – honest )

Vic Barry did the art work, the talented little ballix !

Inspector Gadget beat box remix !

'EFFIN EDDIE !

Calum Hits Langer Land !

Calum "what the fook do you actually do for a living" Best is calling out to Red for a chat with myself and Lenny today.He is in Cork tonight to open the new Karaoke wing in the Mardyke.

A – I know nothing about this guy ??/

B – The only thing I wanna know is did he actually do Lindsay Lohan and her mum, as one report suggested .... well Calum ???

Find out on the best of the red rooster tomorrow after 10 when it gets it's first airing, we replay it Monday after 9.

Do this ...........

This takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read ...
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757 ....
If you haven't, add 1756.


6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.


You should have a three digit number


The first digit of this was your original number
(I.e., how! Many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

Back Street Bird .... very funny ! !

Thriller Wedding !

Halloween Prank !

Feen with a tail ?????

This guy really has a tail!

P.C. PIPE !

Hampshire police thought it would be a good idea to advertise on the rear of a bus. Their planning did not take into account the position of the exhaust pipe.

Im the Gaffer !

Thanks Joan x

Hi

Please be so kind as to pass this link on to KC an Lenny. It is in relation to their God Hates Ireland Creep, Fred Phelps. It is very funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kF5mfG0vO8o

Fred Phelps son hit on by reporter

Kind regards

Joan

This Morning ..................

................I have mostly been eating Prozac”

We had this guy on from www.godhatesireland.com a fascist f*ck head who hates Irish & Gays, dances on Irish flags and proclaims were all doomed Because of our tolerant attitude to homosexual tendencies in Irish society - not really the normal content of the Red Rooster, but it was just crying out to be covered.

If you missed it we will bang it out again tomorrow morning ( wed) after 8 and on the best of the Rooster sat morning.10 – 12.

There was no point in a serious confrontational interview, so in true Rooster styley we ripped the piss big time. . . it was the funniest thing ever when Lenny started to crack onto this tool !

Check it tomorrow :)

When Limerick Rappers Go Bad.....

What we won at the national radio awards !

D1: Community/Social Action


Brake the Cycle

Winner Cork’s Red FM104-106

A5: New Irish Music/Musical Talent Programme

Transmission – Green – on Red - Slayer

Winner Cork’s Red FM 104


E1: Well hung Music Broadcaster of the Year




Winner KC

Cork’s Red FM 104-106

FISH HEAD.

Alright, so Im legging it through the English Market in Cork City, hark – yonder O Connell’s fish emporium there is a gathering of curious
Shoppers staring at a young lady, she is getting her picture taken.

Well to be exact, she is holding two pissed off looking lobsters and making kissy pouts to the cameras!

Ya, it's exposure w*ore – Katie French

The weird thing was, about an hour previously Lenny and I were roaring laughing at a picture of her in Wednesday’s paper, she had a dog
On her head ???? ya, just like ya rasta man in the Bud Light ad.

I know it’s her job to have her picture taken and lashed across the papers, but …every ….fooking …day ... Zzzzzzzzz !

I discreetly took this shot to send to Lenny (who by the way wants to drive a JCB over her head)

G'luck to ya !

http://www.petitiononline.com/GSON/petition.html




If you want Stan out copy and paste the link click above !

Opening Tomorrow In Cork .... Henrys 120 bpm

This is savage cabbage !

SLANG.IE - CORK AND MAYO

A bit of Rooster Manipulation has securely positioned the rebel county in the no1 spot on the Slang website SLANG.IE

We were getting hammered by the Cats, who until yesterday held second place. I got my home boys on the case, Mayo are now second with 310 entries at last count!

Some really funny stuff up there ….

Gollumed

n.

Pulling the bed clothes off a sleeping skinny person

"That poor feen got gollumed at the party"

FONE JACKER MOUSE CALL !

Man with a huge cock ............... dont ask :)

NATIONAL RADIO AWARDS .

RedFM has scored 8 PPI nominations for the PPI radio awards which is happening on the 19th of October.

The PPI’S ( the nations radio Oscars ) is in its 6th year this year, were in for …. Drums please …

Best Breakfast Show – The Red Rooster KC & Lenny

New Irish Music – Transmission with Colm O Sullivan

Sports Coverage – Semple Skirmish – Rory O Handbag

Sports Show – Big Red Bench

Documentary – 911 Sonic Surgery

Community Focus - Break the Cycle

On air competition – Skint

Music Broadcaster of the year – KC ( the system is evidently flawed )


This is an artist impression of how it might look on the night.

MTV JACK ASS PARTY BOY ON THE ROOSTER TOMORROW !

Chris Pontous ( party boy ) is in Cork this weekend -

We have him on the show tomorrow morning after 9 am.

Pontius' trademark style consists of either a male pouch thong and a bow tie, or a headband and belt (being otherwise nude), which he attributes to a favorite pastime as a kid where he and his brother would play "naked natives," scaring houseguests wearing nothing but a belt. Pontius has used the naked native motif to run alongside animals in Wildboyz. He also appears nude in numerous Jackass stunts, including "Playgirl Pontius", in which he poses in various positions for photographs as an audition for Playgirl magazine completely naked.

No more jokes about blondes ok ...

THE ANFIELD RAP ... SWEET JESUS !

Right,

I'm a half arse pool fan, heading over with the old man and some mates to see them in action really soon.To be honest, the old man is the fanatic so this is a birthday pressie of sorts.

Tomorrow on the show we are doing the worst sporting moments in music - when sports personalities attempt chart domination, check out this beauty !

What in the name of jesus were they thinking ???

GOWL !

Kicked in the penis ???? :):):)

Veggy Humour

BUS BASH

Two buses crashed into each other this morning in Cork , of course a branded red rooster bus would have to be one of them ! Its a bit blurry but you can just about make out lenny and I on the back of the number 8 ( Laughing at the tool who failed to see a similar large white vehicle coming towards him)

SIR HENRY OF YOKEALOT !

Great news for those of you that frequented that late Sir Henrys club in Cork.

“Henrys the Movie “is going to be screened for the first time as part of the film festival.

It’s going to be a double bill as a documentary on “The shed “ from turners cross will also be screened.

Henrys was a shed, effectively, bog roll was a luxury but it had an atmosphere and ( more members ofThe D.S. ) like no other club in Ireland.


The most famous photo from Henrys is that of Kurt Cobain unconscious on a bench in the club, the ground peppered with crushed dutch gold cans.

It was the countries first Nirvanna gig, one that everyone claimed to be at, when in reality 50 people turned up.It was just before"Nevermind" was released.

A bit like the Irish forward's, no support .... baa dum tish' .. thank u !

Hilton On Letterman

Another Chinese Toy recalled ??

THE STONED FIREMAN !

New Jersey For tonights Match ????