Neighborhood in shock as Keith Cunningham is accused of displaying flagrant homosexuality
CORK CITY - A usually calm Cork City neighborhood is in shock this evening as one of their own has begun to display signs of flagrant homosexuality. Keith Cunningham was seen this morning talking with a strong lisp and bragging about the prior night's homoerotic adventures with a bartender referred to as "Bubba".
Police then proceeded to apprehend Mr. Cunningham after the suspect threatened to strike an officer with a rubber dildo. While being taken into custody, it was reported that the suspect made repeated attempts to "tap some ass" with several police officials, but no one was available to confirm these findings.
Mr. Cunningham was released from the county jail late this evening after bail of $150,000 was posted by the suspect's friend "Bubba", who was later stopped on the street for possession of a jet-black double-headed rubber dildo.